MAKING ROOM FOR MORE

I recently participated in a workshop just for women. The focus of the weekend was relaxation and enjoyment. It was as if there was an ongoing collective sigh throughout the weekend, as women kept falling into a deeper place of relaxation.

I was not surprised to notice that most, if not all of us were a bit weary. Life itself has become a push. Most of us live in the fast lane 24 hours a day. Technology that was designed to support greater ease has also put us consistently in the line of fire. We do business when we wake up, in the car, on the plane, while dining with friends, shopping for groceries, walking the dog, before we go to bed. We seem never to stop.

There are physical consequences to all this doing, being on call, on alert, without pause, respite, unstructured time without productivity as a focus. Many of us are weary. We've forgotten what fun is. We work way more than we play. And we indulge in quick fixes to keep us going.

In addition to the physical stress, we are also stressed by a sense of powerlessness to do anything about our lifestyle. And when we see ourselves as powerless, we have identified ourselves as victims, and we have lost our ability to be a creative force in our lives.

What to do?

It serves us to make the time to sit and reflect on what we are doing. I encourage you to take an inventory of where your energy goes each and every day. Take out paper and draw a line down the middle. At the top of the left column put a "+," indicating those things, people, situations that add to your life. At the top of the left column put a "-," indicating those people, situations, things that you experience as draining, as taking from you.

These can be relationships, eating patterns, exercise or lack of it, beliefs, attitudes, self-talk, environment, work or family situations. Go beyond what you think you should write down. Get to what is true for you.

Perhaps you think you should get more enjoyment out of visiting your family, but the truth is you come away tired, and often get sick when you get home. Be honest when you are making your list and write down what is YOUR truth.

Take as long as you want to thoroughly complete these two lists. It may take observing yourself as you move through a week to flesh out the list to your satisfaction. Awareness of what is giving to you and what takes away is the key first step to change.

Review each column and circle the five most significant entries. Rank each of those from 1 - 5.

Now look at the one you gave a 1 for the very worst in the negative column. Take time to really absorb how detrimental this has been in your life. Commit to eliminating it. Devise an action plan and a date by when you will have accomplished this.

Continue doing this with the other four on your negative list.

Now go to the positive column. Look at number one. Review your life and notice how beneficial this has been to you. Ask yourself how can you have MORE of this goodness in your life? Again, commit to an action plan.

Continue doing this with the other four items on your positive list.

The idea is to have more and MORE of good things in your life as you eliminate or render powerless the negative influences tipping the balance in favor of a life that you love to live.

(More on this in future articles.)

QUOTES

"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." 
  ~ Andy Warhol ~

"A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle." 
  ~ Kahlil Gibran ~

PRACTICALLY SPEAKING

Make your lists. Remember, some aspects of a situation may be positive and other aspects negative. Separate them. Put the positive on the left and the negative on the right. For example you may love your job. But the grueling pace and late hours are draining you.

Take as long as you need to compile your lists. The more honest you can be with yourself, the more you will be able to help yourself.

Examples Positive: 

• friendship with Susie 
• bike riding 
• walks with dog in forest preserve 
• eating whole foods 
• women's circle 
• family visits

Examples Negative: 

• not speaking up when upset 
• staying up too late 
• not exercising regularly 
• being a perfectionist 
• not taking time off to rest and relax 
• not going on vacation in two years

Remember the intention is to increase the positive in your life and to eliminate or disempower the negative influences. You do have a choice. You can do this. You can have MORE pleasure, enjoyment, and FUN in your life.

WONDER QUESTION:

Are you open to MORE fun, pleasure, nurturing, and enjoyment?

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Copyright 2007 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com

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Copyright 2007 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design.All rights reserved. 
Web site. http://www.living-bydesign.com