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SAYING
NO IS ALSO SAYING YES
Learning to say NO is essential in saying YES to
what you want.
In order to say YES to your commitment - to your
choice to create what you want you will need to say NO to those thoughts,
behaviors, actions, that are in the way of you having what you want. You
have to reorient your day, your week, around your new commitments which
means you have to break the old structure, the old agreements, the old
habits of behavior, and create a new way of relating to your daily
activities.
How can you do that?
Look at what patterns you have to change in order to
take the actions that will lead you to your goal. For example, instead of
languishing around in my p.j.'s in the morning, I will choose to get up
and out for morning exercise in order to support my health goal. Instead
of watching t.v. when I get home from work, I am choosing to meditate for
thirty minutes to nurture my spiritual connection.
There is a structure in place from the past that
needs to be redone. Your life needs to be reoriented around your new
commitments. These need to be the most important choices you make each
day, each week, each month.
In order to do that, you need to create the space to
follow through with the actions that support your commitments. What are
you going to take off your plate in order to bring these new actions into
your life. What are you going to be willing to say NO to?
NO I won’t do that. YES I will do this.
NO I'm not going to distract myself. YES, I am
staying focused on my goal and this action.
I’m NOt going to take it personally. YES I am
choosing my own well-being.
NO to my negative self-talk. YES, I choose to
encourage myself with positive self-talk.
Once you start saying NO, what is going to happen?
The part that gets anxious when we step out of our comfort zone, the part
that is afraid of trying something new.
Say YES to all of this (acceptance) and channel that
energy that is moving now that you are outside your comfort zone into
action that serves your goals. USE the energy generated from saying NO
into serving that which is a big YES for you.
LIVING BY DESIGN AUDIO
& COURSE
Due to the roaring success of the current Living by
Design Class, I am offering it again. We will meet for 5 Wednesday
sessions beginning September 26th and ending on October 24th. If you missed the class last time you have a chance
to take it again. Click here
for details.
QUOTES
"Saying yes and no clearly builds confidence
and rids us of the misconception that we are powerless."
~ Marsha Sinetar ~
PRACTICALLY SPEAKING
Our day is generally made up of patterns of action,
habitual behavior - those actions we follow automatically - the things we
do that we don't even think about. A pattern of action is either working
for us and taking us closer to our goals, or it is undermining our
success.
Observe which patterns of action you would like to
change. This is where the NO comes in.
Then ask yourself what you would like to replace
that pattern of action with. Write it down. Make it clear and specific.
This is your YES.
YES, I am choosing to floss my teeth twice daily to
maintain the health of my gums.
YES, I choose to turn off the computer at 8 p.m. and
spend some time unwinding before bed so that I can experience deeply
restorative sleep.
Find ways to reinforce your new choices. Perhaps a
note on your pillow reminding you to floss. Perhaps an alarm that goes off
at 7:45 to remind you of your choice to shut down in 15 minutes. It takes
approximately 30 days to create a new habit. I like to mark my successes
off on a calendar until I discover my YES is now a new pattern of action.
This time a pattern that serves me and my goals.
WONDER
QUESTION:
Are you willing to say NO so that you can say YES?
QUICK LINKS:
COPYRIGHT/CONTACT INFO/REPRINT PERMISSION
Copyright 2007 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com
Reprint permission granted in part or whole when the following credit appears in full:
Copyright 2007 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design.All rights reserved.
Web site. http://www.living-bydesign.com
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