LOVE CHANGES US

No one can make us change. If change occurs it is because we choose to change. Yet another can influence us in great ways, and in ordinary every day ways.

Many are moved by famous people and have used the lives of their heroes as inspiration and motivation. More of us are touched by those close to us, and feel their influence upon us daily.

My husband was born in Oklahoma. I was born in New York (Queens). You can imagine we had some differences in how we saw things.

We moved into the home we now live in and set up our home offices in different rooms. I would bound into his office and approach his desk while speaking to him. He would get very upset. He called me things like - well - rude!

I didn't know what he was talking about. The entry to his office was 20 feet from his desk. I clearly needed to get close to enter his space. I grew up in NY. We live close together.

He on the other hand grew up in a place where the population of the entire state is one third the city of New York. There is lots and lots of space. Lots.

When he came to my office he would knock. I would be startled out of my skin. I wanted him to come to me and touch me, or speak to me so I would know he was there.

We were experiencing our relationship to space differently.  We were in conflict. We both believed our way was right.

At some moment in time I realized it didn't matter if I was or was not right. My approach wasn't working. I needed to try something new.

I chose to change. I taught myself to knock. I taught myself to get quiet as I approached his space. I did this because I love this man and he matters to me. I changed for him.

I did this out of love. Out of respect. Out of caring.

This was not an easy process. I found the experience painful at times. Yet this is the gift of relationship. Where our differences rub against each other the parts of us that were false, or no longer serving, get rubbed away, and what is left is the gem that we really are. As a result I have become more sensitive to my surroundings and the impact my manner has on others.

Another changing influence is my dog. Kelsi's job is to celebrate each and every meeting of another, dog or human. As a result my world is friendlier when I am with her. I have discovered I like it better that way. As a result I have learned to offer a warmer heart to my world.

Ask yourself who has influenced you in ordinary ways. How are you a better person as a result? Perhaps now, right now today, would be a good time to tell the person how their presence in your life has changed you. And if it was your dog or cat, a romp in the park or a treat is in order.

By the way - Michael now comes into my office and puts his hands on my shoulders when he wants my attention - or he'll come close to me and gently say, 'knock, knock.'

QUOTES

“Out beyond ideas of right doing and wrong doing, 
there is a field, I’ll meet you there. 
  ~ Rumi ~

“Never underestimate your power to change yourself. 
Never overestimate your power to change others.” 
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr. ~

PRACTICALLY SPEAKING

Life changes us, or we change in response to life.

Begin to notice your relationship with people in your life. Start to wonder how they have impacted you. Who has brought out the best in you? What have you discovered about you that you may not have learned without their influence?

Take time to appreciate who you have become.

If it serves, let the other person know how they have made a difference in your life.

WONDER QUESTION:

How has life and love changed you?

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Copyright 2007 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com

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Copyright 2007 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design.All rights reserved. 
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