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CHANGING
THE DANCE
Life is what life is. How we relate to life is the
experience of our life. It's like a dance. If you are gracefully moving
across the dance floor of life, then you are probably in a place of flow
and cooperation with Life doing what Life does. But if you find yourself
falling, stubbing your toe, running into things, getting hurt and angry,
then you might be served by dance lessons.
When we keep stubbing our toe, not just once, but as
a pattern, it's a good time to look at what we are doing. What is the
issue? How am I relating to the issue? Has some belief run it's course and
now is a limitation rather than a support?
'Ow I Hurt' is a gift. The hurt can bring awareness
to something that is no longer working. Take a moment to find out what is
going on. What is the issue?
My husband had been in pain for a long, long while.
'Ow This Hurts' was an understatement. He realized the pain wasn't going
away, but was getting worse. He went to a doctor. The X-rays said he had
osteoarthritis and the hip would eventually need to be replaced.
Sometimes something in our thinking, or how we are
framing an issue, shows up on the X-ray, as something that is causing a
problem and needs to be replaced.
Most of us blame Something Out There as the reason
for our hurt. Michael thought it was a Pilates class he had attended that
had intensified the pain he was in. We often think It is Something Else.
The Pilates class pointed out what was already present. What It Is. We can
learn from our pain, take corrective action and get back on the dance
floor.
Michael saw his X-rays and needed to ask himself if
his hip was serving him any longer. We need to look at the beliefs, and
stories we live and and when we come across one that sets us up for hurt,
ask ourselves, "Is This Serving Me Any Longer?".
If the answer is No, then let it go. For Michael, it
was two years before it was clear his hip was no longer serving him, but
in fact restricting his life tremendously. He decided to let it go and he
put in a replacement.
I have had clients who were so attached to the
belief that they Weren't Good Enough, that they were suffering as much as
Michael was with his corroded hip joint. At some point in our lives, we
need to decide what is more important. Holding On To The Past, a belief
that has served us well for whatever reasons up until now, or to Let It Go
and replace it with a more useful pattern.
Recently I was working with someone with the I'm Not
Good Enough belief running her life. We took a few moments for her to tell
me the things she had achieved which were way more than Good Enough. The
list was enormous. At the end of her recitation she was laughing at the
story she had been telling herself all these years.
"Not Good Enough - HA! I'm Fine, Good Enough,
Alive, and Grateful," she declared. She now has a new focus, a more
expansive, empowering belief to live in. This one did not have her running
into walls and stubbing her toes. This one had her laughing.
Michael's hip has him laughing as well. His sense of
humor is back, his energy and vitality have returned, his mood has
lightened. He feels good. Time to celebrate.
It is great to celebrate breaking free of old
patterns that no longer serve you. Do a Snoopy dance, take a walk in the
park, give yourself an atta girl, or atta boy, something to acknowledge
that you've done the work of growth and expansion.
We're leaving for Montana in a few weeks to
celebrate Michael's new hip. One of our planned hikes is a 1/2 day hike to
a mountain lake to go fishing. Last summer this would have been
impossible.
And when we get back perhaps we'll go dancing.
QUOTES
"One can never change the past, only the
hold it has on you, and while nothing in your life is reversible, you can
reverse it nevertheless."
~ Merle Shain ~
"Awareness is the key. When I know what I am
doing, I have the option to change."
~ Anne Wilson Schaef ~
PRACTICALLY SPEAKING
- Notice when you 'stub your toe'. A clue is when
some part of you goes, "Ouch!".
- Most of us have an automatic response of pointing
"Out There" at the "Something Happened." Instead
turn your pointing finger towards yourself and ask, "How might I
have been part of setting up this experience?"
- See if you can uncover a limiting thought,
belief, story that set you up for the Ouch.
- If you uncover one, notice how it has served you
up until now.
- Observe how it is now a limitation.
- Let it go.
- Put in a replacement.
- Celebrate your willingness to change and grow!
WONDER QUESTION:
- Are you willing to let go of old beliefs and
stories that no longer serve you and to choose instead patterns of
expansion and growth?
QUICK LINKS:
COPYRIGHT/CONTACT INFO/REPRINT PERMISSION
Copyright 2006 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com
Reprint permission granted in part or whole when the following credit appears in full:
Copyright 2006 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design.All rights reserved.
Web site. http://www.living-bydesign.com
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