|
LIFE
HAPPENS
Meeting the Challenge of Change, Part 3
There are many things in life we have learned that
are now what is called transparent. Learning to walk, using a computer,
driving a car all, at one time, were unknown to me. Transparency is what
happens when we perform an action without reflecting upon it. Repetitive
human action often brings transparency. Competence in a particular domain
brings transparency.
Think about driving. You are in your car, on the
highway, going along with the flow of traffic. Your actions are
transparent. You are such a highly competent driver that you no longer pay
attention to the action that we call driving. You are in flow. Your
competency is such that you are able to do other things, listen to music,
have a conversation, enjoy the scenery.
Suddenly you hear a noise. Something has happened.
You feel the car pull to the right. Your flow is broken. There is a break
in the transparency. That which was in the background comes into focus,
the gauges, the shoulder, the other cars on the road. You hear yourself
say or think the universal cry of breakdown, "Oh Sh*t#@!", as
you find your way to the side of the road.
I imagine having a flat tire was not on your to-do
list for the day. You were probably assuming a very different experience
than the one you are having at the moment. Yet here you are at the side of
the road, not going anywhere.
At this moment you are probably entertaining a range
of automatic thoughts from, "WHY ME!," to "WHOSE TO BLAME
FOR THE FIX I’M IN!" accompanied by an array of emotions.
Laying down on the ground by your flat tire and
crying probably won't get it fixed and get you back in action. Nor will
kicking at it and calling it names. This calls for a power move. It's time
to pull out one of the most powerful actions on the planet. Making a
REQUEST!
Now you might be making a self-request, asking
yourself to pick yourself up off of the street, open your trunk, and pull
out those tools in there to fix the tire. For me - well - I'm not famous
for my tire changing skills - so I'll be figuring out who to ask for help.
It is also beneficial to be discerning about who to
ask. Making a request of the woman crossing the street with her walker
probably isn't a good idea. Nor would my sister be of much use in this
situation. Lucky for me I have AAA.
Now is a good time to deal with what is not getting
done while you are dealing with this tire. Perhaps you need to call the
appointment you were on your way to, and handle the fact that they are
waiting for you. Time to renegotiate our agreements and make new
arrangements.
Breakdowns are part of life. They also afford
opportunities for learning. If there is something to learn from a
situation and we don’t take advantage of that learning and change how we
come to things, we are setting ourselves up for that very same breakdown
again.
In this case, learning to check all four tires
before getting into the car might be of service to the future. Maybe
buying new tires is in order. Driving around and not through pot holes
might help.
On the other hand, breakdowns could inspire
innovation and invention. I'm guessing the person who invented the sleeper
sofa had lots of weekend guests and not enough bedrooms to accommodate
them.
Once we've resolved the breakdown, we find ourselves
back in action, driving down the road again, back in transparency and in
flow. If we made change our friend, and used the situation wisely, perhaps
we’re better off for the experience.
Life happens. Are you going to sit on the side of
the road and complain about it - or are you going to take action and get
back into flow?
Related Articles:
The
Power of Asking
So What, Now What
Your Network of Support
Making Your Requests More Powerful
QUOTES:
"Life is what happens when you are making
other plans."
~ John Lennon ~
"Mastery in life is not the avoidance of
breakdowns but the competence to deal with them effectively."
~ Rafael Echeverria ~
PRACTICALLY SPEAKING:
- Life happens. When you notice yourself exclaiming
the universal cry for breakdown - know that you are in breakdown. Oh
goody - an opportunity is upon you.
- Just for fun, notice the automatic thoughts and
feelings that get triggered initially when breakdown occurs. We each
have our own particular flavor. Perhaps you automatically pout with a
cry of "Why me!" Or maybe you are a bully with a loud threat
of "Who's to BLAME for this!!!"
- No matter, neither one works to get back into
flow. Indulge as long as you want - knowing that your are impacting
your well being and productivity as you do so.
- When you are ready to move on - ask yourself -
"What is missing, and what request do I need to support me in
getting back in flow?"
- Once you know, ask yourself, "Who is in my
network of support that can serve my request?"
- Go ahead and make your request. You may discover
you are your best support, and you will be asking yourself to take an
action.
- Remember to look at your agreements and take the
actions necessary to renegotiate as required.
- Take some time to evaluate what occurred to see
if there are any learnings to harvest, inspirations to act upon.
- Get back into flow - until - well - life happens.
WONDER QUESTIONS:
- Are you willing to learn to live in flow, not by
trying to hold onto things as they are in this moment, but by learning
to be flexible and competent in navigating through change as it
occurs?
- Are you open to allowing life happening to change
you in ways you cannot imagine in this moment?
QUICK LINKS:
COPYRIGHT/CONTACT INFO/REPRINT PERMISSION
Copyright 2005 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com
Reprint permission granted in part or whole when the following credit appears in full:
Copyright 2005 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design.All rights reserved.
Web site. http://www.living-bydesign.com
|
