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LIVING BY DESIGN NEWSLETTER
by Leslie Karen Sann, MA, LCPC
V4, #9
June 3, 2004
IN THIS ISSUE
Asking
Better Questions
Quotes
Practically Speaking
Wonder Questions
ASKING
BETTER QUESTIONS
Powerful People Make Things Easy (Part 7)
(This article is a continuation of a series
about our personal power to create the life we want)
Imagine rolling along in life and hitting a bump.
Perhaps you were learning a new program on your computer and you deleted
an item instead of saving it. It happens.
What are the automatic questions that pop into your
mind? Do yours sound like: “How come I always mess up?” or “Why am I
such a klutz?” or perhaps “Why am I so stupid?!#”
How many of you are motivated by beating yourself
up? Many of us operate under the false notion that if we bully ourselves,
somehow we’ll do better next time.
Not. It won’t happen. What we end up doing is
focusing on what we judge as wrong rather than looking to what the
opportunity might be.
Let’s now imagine alternatives to the bully
method. Consider the following and wonder what difference might be
produced: “What can I learn from this?” or, “How can I do it better
next time?” or perhaps, “What is the value here for me?, or even, “What
can I appreciate in this moment?”
Notice the difference the second set of questions
produces. For me I experience more ease, a greater openness, acceptance of
what has occurred, and even curiosity about what’s next.
The brain is like a computer. Ask it a question - it
will search it’s data banks for an answer. Ask it, “What’s wrong
with me?”, and it will tell you. Ask it, “What’s lovable about
me?", and it will tell you. You’re in charge of the asking.
The quality of our lives depends on the questions we
ask. Learning how to direct our questions is a way for us to take charge
of the experiences we create. Take charge by asking better questions. This
will direct what you focus upon and therefore how you experience your
life.
Whatever question you ask, you will get an answer.
Questions shift your focus. Ask empowering questions as part of your
mastery of the art of living.
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QUOTES:
"Depending upon how you direct your
consciousness, you can use anything that comes to you as a stumbling block
or as a steppingstone."
~ John- Roger ~
“"Everything can be taken away from a man
but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude
in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
~ Viktor Frankl ~
“Our life is what our thoughts make it."
~ Marcus Aurelius ~
"To affect the quality of the day; that is
the art of life."
~ Henry David Thoreau ~
"What we see depends mainly on what we look
for."
~ John Lubbock ~
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PRACTICALLY SPEAKING:
Practice asking better questions.
- Turn: “Why me?” into “What’s next?”
- Change: “What’s wrong with me?” to “What
are my gifts that make me unique?”
- Shift: “Why does this always happen to me?”
to “What can I be grateful for here?” or “I wonder what I can
learn from this?” or “How is this situation serving me?”
- Alter: "How come I’m so stuck?” to “What
choices are available to me?” or "What actions can I take to
get moving?” or What outcome do I want to produce?”
Remember, powerful people ask empowering questions.
The quality of your life is directly related to the quality of the
questions you ask.
WONDER QUESTIONS:
Some of my Favorite Wonder Questions:
- What is GREAT about this!?
- What CHOICES are available to me?
- What is my INTENDED outcome ... what do I want?
- What is my opportunity for LEARNING here?
- What is FUNNY about this?
- Are there other ways of LOOKING at this
situation? (If yes, what could they be?)
- How is this situation SERVING me?
- What is the GIFT here for me?
- What can I be GRATEFUL for?
- What can I do right now to support me in being
JOYFUL?
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COPYRIGHT/CONTACT INFO/REPRINT PERMISSION
c Copyright 2004 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com
Reprint permission granted in part or whole when the following credit appears in full:
Copyright 2004 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design.All rights reserved.
Web site. http://www.living-bydesign.com
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