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LIVING BY DESIGN NEWSLETTER
by Leslie Karen Sann, MA, LCPC
V4, #8
May 14, 2004
IN THIS ISSUE
What
Are You Making Up?
Quotes
Practically Speaking
Wonder Questions
WHAT
ARE YOU MAKING UP?
Powerful People Make Things Easy (Part 6)
(This article is a continuation of a series
about our personal power to create the life we want)
In the absence of information, we make things up.
This phenomena comes from our survival mechanisms. Imagine you are early (hu)man.
You hear a sound. Your mind quickly searches it’s database looking to
place the sound from the past. Is this a sound that can eat me? Or is it
one that I can eat?
The mind is designed to discover the reason for
things so it can figure out what to do. When you are walking through a
dark forest with only a sharp stick for protection this is important.
This mechanism of the mind is not always useful in
our current reality. If your husband comes home quiet and he doesn’t tell
you he is tired and preoccupied with something that happened at work - you
may, in the absence of information, tell yourself he’s angry with you.
Perhaps your mind searching it’s data bank came up with memories from
your childhood. Hmmm, dad quiet = angry.
Husband quiet must = angry.
Only problem is, husband isn’t angry - husband is
tired.
The mind doesn’t like not knowing, so it makes
things up. Everything has a reason to the mind. In the absence of
information it will make things up so that it can know, even if what it
knows is made up. Then the mind forgets it made it up.
The mind thinks it should know. It hates not
knowing.
Try this on. Imagine driving on the highway and
suddenly getting cut off. Notice you have automatic thoughts when this
occurs. The mind thinks it knows that the person did it on purpose, is
drunk, is out for a joy ride. It thinks up a story to explain the behavior
of the other driver.
Now notice that the story you tell yourself will
produce a feeling. If the mind made up the person was being malicious, you
may now feel angry.
What if you observed the story and then reminded
yourself that you don’t really know what’s going on for the other
person. Challenge yourself to make up a different story, one that would
produce a more positive response in you. Perhaps the person suddenly felt
ill and lost control of the car for a moment? Would you be angry or feel
compassion?
Either way, you don’t know what is true for the
other person. You don’t know.
Not knowing is an uncomfortable place to be for many
of us. We allow the mind to run us by making things up and then we act as
if what the mind has told us is true.
Practice living in the not knowing, and learn to be
comfortable with the unknown. Listen to what is present in the not
knowing. Discover what you can learn about not knowing.
And, if you are going to make something up - why not
win in your own fantasies - make something up that brings you joy, opens
your heart, and/or nurtures peace.
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QUOTES:
“Life is quite simple when we stop pretending
we know what is going on.”
~ Soul Listener Series by
Martha Ringer ~
“It is much more exciting to be with people who
are dwelling in the mystery than to be with people who seem to have the
answers.”
~ Jan Phillips ~
"There is a need to enter into the
unfamiliar in order to grow. "
~ John Morton ~
"Awareness is the key. When I know what I am
doing, I have the option to change."
~ Anne Wilson Schaef ~
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PRACTICALLY SPEAKING:
-
Practice watching your mind -
observing your thoughts.
-
Notice how what you think,
influences your experiencing.
-
Begin to intervene in your thinking
by challenging yourself to wonder if there might be another ‘right’
answer.
-
See if you can come up with
alternative answers that contribute to a greater sense of well-being
and peace.
WONDER QUESTIONS:
-
What are you making up?
-
Are you letting the perceptions and
assessments of your mind to be your reality?
-
How might you challenge your
thinking to open up to different possibilities?
-
Are you willing to be a co-creator
of your reality and experience of life?
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COPYRIGHT/CONTACT INFO/REPRINT PERMISSION
c Copyright 2004 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com
Reprint permission granted in part or whole when the following credit appears in full:
Copyright 2004 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design.All rights reserved.
Web site. http://www.living-bydesign.com
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