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LIVING BY DESIGN NEWSLETTER
by Leslie Karen Sann, MA, LCPC
V4, #7
April 21, 2004
IN THIS ISSUE
Whose
Business Is It Anyway?
Quotes
Practically Speaking
Wonder Questions
WHOSE
BUSINESS IS IT ANYWAY?
Powerful People Make Things Easy (Part 5)
(This article is a continuation of a series
about our personal power to create the life we want)
Many of us struggle with where our business ends and
another begins. We drift into other people’s business and invite other
people into ours, all the while making a mess of our relationships because
no one is taking 100% responsibility for their own business.
What does that mean? 100% responsibility? It means I
am responsible for the areas that are my concern - my health, my finances,
my emotional well-being, my creativity, my happiness, my fulfillment. No
one else is responsible for these areas. And when I make it about anyone
else, I am at less than 100%.
What does more than 100% look like? It looks like me
getting into your business and attempting to manipulate, control, direct
your choices, and your actions.
Imagine being a store owner. One night after store
hours you get broken into. The next day you complain to the cops that they
weren’t doing their job and that it was their fault, (or society’s, or
the economy, or whatever) that you were subjected to this experience.
Versus - realizing you weren’t prepared for this
possibility- learning from what occurred - and taking corrective action -
getting an alarm system = responsible. Taking charge of your choices and
your actions - responding to circumstances.
Now imagine you are a store owner, and instead of
tending to your own business, making sure your store was in order, your
inventory stocked, your employees delivering impeccable service to your
customers, you were wandering around the streets, going in and out of
other shops, offering unasked for advice, tips, suggestions as to how they
could improve their bottom line, criticizing how they go about things.
Meanwhile, who is minding YOUR store? You’re out of your business.
How often have you set it up to either attempt to
get someone else responsible for what is yours, or involve yourself in
something that’s ‘not your business’? Taking 100% responsibility is
involving yourself with what is yours and leaving the rest alone.
Years ago I awoke to the fact that I was in my
husband’s business in a particular area. I wanted to ‘help’ him
clean up and order his office. I was sure I could be of ‘service’ and
asked him over and over again if I could help. He was consistent in
declining which gave me a chance to wonder about what I was about.
One day I realized I was distracting myself from
taking responsibility for my own office clutter. Even though my office
looked more ordered, I often lost track of information or documents and
spent more time than I wanted to admit tracking something down, or doing
it over.
I took myself up on my own offer and decided to take
greater responsibility for my own work flow system. The result has been
terrific. Though I am still in the process of mastery, I have created much
more ease in my life as a result. And my husband seems to be managing
himself fine with how he does things. And if he weren’t - well - that’s
not my business ;)
The end result of being fully in your own business
is that you are available to invest your energy in ways that will
positively impact your life.
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QUOTES:
"If everybody minded their own
business," the Duchess said, in a hoarse growl, "the world would
go around a great deal faster than it does."
~ Lewis Carroll ~
"I can find only three kinds of business in
the universe: mine, yours, and God's. (For me, the word God means
'reality'. Reality is God, because it rules. Anything that's out of my
control, your control, and everyone else's control - I call that God's
business.)"
~Byron Katie, author of “Loving What Is”
http://www.living-bydesign.com/publications.htm
and creator of 'The Work' http://www.thework.org
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PRACTICALLY SPEAKING:
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Notice where in your life you feel
stuck, frustrated, out of balance, helpless.
-
Ask yourself am I out of my
business? Am I attempting to get involved in something that’s not
mine to do?
-
If so, back off. Ask yourself, what
am I avoiding in my own life by focusing on what this other person (or
situation) is or is not doing?
-
Take action on whatever you
discover.
-
If you are not out of your
business, but are still feeling stuck, ask yourself if you are
attempting to get someone or something to come rescue you, save you,
get them in your business and make it better.
-
If so, ask yourself, what can you
do to take care of the issue yourself.
-
Practice staying in your business.
Notice when you drift and call yourself back. You will discover a
level of freedom and happiness that you will come to cherish.
WONDER QUESTIONS:
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How can you tell when you are ‘out
of your business'? What body sensations, thought patterns, emotions do
you find yourself recycling?
-
In what areas do you attempt to
make your issues about someone or something else? If they only would
or wouldn’t, then I’d be okay.
-
Are you willing to claim full
responsibility for your life - no less - no more?
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COPYRIGHT/CONTACT INFO/REPRINT PERMISSION
c Copyright 2004 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com
Reprint permission granted in part or whole when the following credit appears in full:
Copyright 2004 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design.All rights reserved.
Web site. http://www.living-bydesign.com
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