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LIVING BY DESIGN NEWSLETTER
by Leslie Karen Sann, MA, LCPC
V4, #17
September 30, 2004
IN THIS ISSUE
Requests
Lead to Agreements
Quotes
Practically Speaking
Wonder Questions
REQUESTS
LEAD TO AGREEMENTS
Powerful People Make Things Easy (Part 15)
(This article is a continuation of a series
about our personal power to create the life we want)
Okay - you’ve made a request. Now what? Well, the
person to whom you made your request can either agree to participate or
decline. If they decline, you get to figure out what you want to do next.
You can ask another person or come up with another way to get your request
met.
If they accept, they have made a promise, or an
agreement.
Powerful people are care-full and discerning about
making and keeping their agreements. Agreements create the fabric of human
coexistence. I show up for work and put in my 40 hours, because you have
agreed to pay me my wages at the end of that time. You have a desk, phone,
supplies ready for me because I have agreed to show up and do a job.
When one of us fails to uphold our end of the
bargain there is a breakdown, and erosion of trust, loss of confidence,
and a deterioration of relationship. Productivity is diminished and our
sense of aliveness and well-being is undermined.
Broken agreements carry a big price. Powerful people
are unwilling to pay that price. Therefore, they are scrupulous about
making and keeping agreements.
Is it possible to keep all agreements? Perhaps, but
most of us live in a world that has its own agenda, and sometimes life
doing what life does gets in the way. Yet there are some guidelines to
follow for maintaining your integrity and the integrity of your
relationships:
- Keep the agreements you have already made or
consciously change them.
- In the future, only make agreements you want to
make. Don’t say yes when you mean no. Don’t make agreements you
don’t want to make. No is better than a yes that never gets
delivered.
- It is okay to make a counteroffer to a request
being made. Negotiate the terms of your agreement up front. Tell the
truth about what you can and cannot do, what you are willing and not
willing to do.
- Take time to get clarity to understand the
conditions of satisfaction of the agreement, making sure all parties
agree upon criteria for completion.
- Make sure the agreement has a time component --
by when will the promise be delivered?
- Renegotiate agreements you know are changing for
you proactively (vs. after breaking one).
- Reschedule your agreements respectfully. There
are at least two ways to do this: “Something more important has come
up, so let’s reschedule,” or, “We have an agreement, and I’m
willing to keep it, and I’d appreciate it if we could move it to
another time because something important has come up.” Which do you
suppose is more accountable, courteous, and recommended?
- Be willing to keep your agreement if the other
party responds by asking you to keep your agreement anyway.
- Keep all agreements impeccably - make your
agreements important.
- Write down the agreements you make and keep track
of them.
- When you break a promise, acknowledge it, tell
the truth about it, and accept the consequences. Let go of
justifications, apologies, and defenses.
Practicing excellence in the area of agreements will
contribute vastly to the quality of your life, your level of energy and
vitality, and to the health of your relationships.
Remember, powerful people make things easy.
Attending to your agreements facilitates ease and flow in your life. Your
word is precious and powerful. It serves to be aware when you give it.
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QUOTES:
“Making and keeping clear agreements is
essential to the practice of living in integrity”
~ Russell Bishop ~
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PRACTICALLY SPEAKING:
- Powerful people make and keep clear agreements.
- If you want to have more energy, clarity, and
vitality make only those agreements you are willing to keep and say NO
to everything else.
- Remember, part of keeping agreements is the
respectful renegotiating process that is essential when life does what
it does and you for some reason are unable to follow through on your
word.
WONDER QUESTIONS:
- Are you willing to live impeccably, keeping your
agreements, following through on your word, knowing the reward is more
aliveness, power, and self- authority?
- Are you willing to be powerful, impactful, and
effective?
- Are you willing to uphold your word, to be a
person seen as reliable, trustworthy, and honest?
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COPYRIGHT/CONTACT INFO/REPRINT PERMISSION
c Copyright 2004 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com
Reprint permission granted in part or whole when the following credit appears in full:
Copyright 2004 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design.All rights reserved.
Web site. http://www.living-bydesign.com
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