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LIVING BY DESIGN NEWSLETTER
by Leslie Karen Sann, MA, LCPC
V4, #13
August 4, 2004
IN THIS ISSUE
Declare
Yourself a Beginner
Quotes
Practically Speaking
Wonder Questions
DECLARE
YOURSELF A BEGINNER!
Powerful People Make Things Easy (Part 11)
(This article is a continuation of a series
about our personal power to create the life we want)
When I am working with people, I am amazed at how
many of us humans relate to ourselves as if we were born knowing
everything. As a result, if I don’t do something well, or worse yet, I
don’t know how to do it at all, there must be something wrong with me -
the assumption is that I should know how to do everything.
This is true in all areas of life. We think we
should know how to negotiate a business deal fresh out of college. We
think we should know how to date, when we’ve never been on one before.
We think we should know how to raise children or nurture intimacy in a
marriage when we’ve just become a parent or a spouse.
Not knowing is disturbing to many of us. And if we
really are stuck in the belief that we should know, we set ourselves up
for misery. And because we think we should know, asking for help, or
opening up to learning is out of the question. Instead we use our
creativity to cover up our ignorance.
But that’s the issue. We’re ignorant. We don’t
know. Ignorance does not equal stupidity. Ignorant does not mean "I’m
untrainable." Ignorant means "I don’t know."
Getting honest about ignorance is liberating. Saying
“I don’t know how to do that,” can change the course of your life.
First of all, what a relief. No more pretending.
Whew.
Secondly, you can now decide if you want to learn.
Do you want to address your ignorance?
Being ignorant is not a problem if my not knowing
how doesn’t negatively impact my life. It’s okay that I don’t know,
(or care to know), how to change the oil in my car. I can easily hire
someone to do that for me.
But, not knowing how to drive could impact my well-
being and productivity if I live alone, 15 miles from the nearest grocery
store. Not knowing how to resolve issues in relationships will negatively
impact my ability to create the intimacy and harmony I desire. I need to
look at the consequences of my ignorance to determine if I want to take
the action of educating myself.
Nowadays, I have fun saying I’m ignorant when I
am. No pressure to come up with an answer.
I equally enjoy saying , “I’m in the process of
learning. I’m a beginner.” As a beginner I have lots of room for
error. Since I don’t know and am learning, it’s okay to make mistakes.
Oops are part of the learning process.
Accepting my ‘beginnership’ gives me lots of
room to participate. Knowing that mistakes are okay gives me room to
attempt new things. Taking action and having new experiences are key if I
am going to learn anything new.
Declaring yourself a beginner is another one of
those power moves. It leads you to action and action produces results.
Learning from results produces change and that change leads from ignorance
to learning.
Declare yourself a beginner and let the learning
begin!
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QUOTES:
"Do not be too timid and squeamish . . . All
life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the
better."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~
“Make as many mistakes as you can so you don't
leave out any possibility.”
~Martha Ringer~
"The secret of success? Fall down seven
times, get up eight."
~Chinese Proverb~
“Love your consequences. They are your
opportunity to learn. They are your opportunity to gain wisdom.”
~John-Roger with Paul Kaye~
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PRACTICALLY SPEAKING:
- Notice where you might be suffering due to
ignorance.
- Have you been promoting your suffering by arguing
with the fact that you don’t know by telling yourself you should.
- What could you learn in order to improve your
situation?
- Declare yourself a beginner and find yourself a
resource for learning.
WONDER QUESTIONS:
- Where are you suffering because of your
ignorance?
- Are you willing to declare yourself a beginner
and learn to become competent in that area?
- Are you willing to become a powerful force of
learning and action to shape the experience of your life?
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COPYRIGHT/CONTACT INFO/REPRINT PERMISSION
c Copyright 2004 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com
Reprint permission granted in part or whole when the following credit appears in full:
Copyright 2004 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design.All rights reserved.
Web site. http://www.living-bydesign.com
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