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LIVING BY DESIGN NEWSLETTER
by Leslie Karen Sann, MA, LCPC
V4, #12
July 15 2004
IN THIS ISSUE
Learning
from Mistakes
Quotes
Practically Speaking
Wonder Questions
LEARNING
FROM MISTAKES
Powerful People Make Things Easy (Part 10)
(This article is a continuation of a series
about our personal power to create the life we want)
Many of us were raised in an environment that
emphasized negative reinforcement as a child rearing method. We heard lots
of don’t do that, and why didn’t you do this, and you should and you
should not, and lots and lots of NO!
As adults we still use this same method to motivate.
We have come to think that if we withhold praise and satisfaction we will
be driven to do more and go further. But this is not the case.
When was the last time you were motivated to improve
your performances after you got dressed down by your boss, or your spouse?
It doesn’t happen. Not when we are being
criticizing or we are judging ourselves. Blame shuts us down to our desire
to learn and try new things.
Powerful people don’t spend their creative energy
on judging. Instead they look for opportunities to improve, to grow and to
learn.
We learn from making mistakes. No learning ever
occurs without error. How many of us sat down at the computer keyboard (or
typewriter - if you are as old as I am) for the very first time and were
able to type without an error? I haven’t found a person yet who was able
to do that.
Learning includes error. Mistakes are part of the
process. When we are growing in competence we mis-step, catch ourselves,
and go for it again, until we can do what we are learning well.
I remember learning to type and consistently messing
up with the letter X. For my hands there is something about the placement
of the X that is difficult for me. I had to break the hand motion down in
order to train my hand coordination to hit that key consistently without
error. AND I made LOTS of mistakes in the process (still do - but lucky me
- I have a computer and all is well).
This was also true when I was learning how to drive
a stick . I didn’t shift from 1st to 2nd with grace and ease out of the
shoot. There was more than one jerky, bumpy ride as I recall. But now,
after lots of practice due to lots of mistakes I shift as well or better
than an automatic transmission.
We learn from mistakes, as we learn from adversity.
When things don’t go as planned, we are more open to discovery. “What
happened.” “Where did I miss?” “How could I do better?” “Where
could I put in a correction?” These are questions powerful people invest
in.
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QUOTES:
Turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones.”
~ John - Roger ~
"The power to observe is the power to
learn."
~ Rachel Simon ~
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PRACTICALLY SPEAKING:
- Teach yourself to become aware when you are
judging yourself or another.
- Challenge yourself to find something to
appreciate instead. For example, I appreciate myself for taking the
risk that put me in the situation I find myself. Or, I appreciate this
other person for their willingness to be honest even if I disagree
with their opinion.
- When something doesn’t turn out the way you
would intend, see if you can uncover a correction to utilize for next
time, one that would improve the result.
- Learn to celebrate your mistakes as evidence that
you are participating in your life
WONDER QUESTIONS:
- Are you willing to give up judgments and choose
learning and growing?
- How can you use your creative energy to enhance
and uplift rather than diminish and berate?
- Are you willing to be a true creative, empowered
force in your life?
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COPYRIGHT/CONTACT INFO/REPRINT PERMISSION
c Copyright 2004 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com
Reprint permission granted in part or whole when the following credit appears in full:
Copyright 2004 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design.All rights reserved.
Web site. http://www.living-bydesign.com
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