|
LIVING BY DESIGN NEWSLETTER
by Leslie Karen Sann, MA, LCPC
V4, #10
June 16, 2004
IN THIS ISSUE
Focusing
on the Positive
Quotes
Practically Speaking
Wonder Questions
FOCUSING
ON THE POSITIVE
Powerful People Make Things Easy (Part 8)
(This article is a continuation of a series
about our personal power to create the life we want)
If I gave you a rose would you say to me, “Thank
you for this stick with thorns on it?” Even if you pricked your finger
while admiring the beauty of the rose, you probably would still appreciate
the gift. Yet in our day to day lives we tend to focus on the negative.
Now there is nothing off about noticing the
negative. Negative has it’s value, as does positive. A battery, for
example, needs both negative and positive to function.
As a matter of fact, negative feedback is valuable
if we want to stay on course. If you are driving down the road, and your
low gas warning light goes on, you direct yourself in finding the next gas
station. Without the warning light, you may run out of gas. Negative
feedback can be supportive when used in service to your well-being and
productivity.
As a matter of fact, a plane traveling from Chicago
to L.A. is off course 90% of the time. The navigational equipment on the
plane keeps sending off course feedback so that the plane can correct
itself and get back on course. Even with traveling off course 90% of the
time, the plane makes it to it's destination. Negative feedback is
essential in navigating our way through life.
But negative feedback is different than a negative
focus. Negative feedback is information identifying that you have strayed
off course from your goal. Instead of using the information as a tool, a
resource, the person with a negative focus gets stuck. Life is a drag, and
then you die sorta thing.
Powerful people focus on the positive. They hold an
image of successful completion and let their positive vision pull them
forward. To them, the low gas warning light is merely information to
assist them in getting to their destination. It’s part of life, but not
all of life.
Maintaining a positive focus has other benefits as
well. It is a life enhancer. Observe the difference between two little
boys coloring with crayons when a bully comes by and breaks all the
crayons in two. One of the little boys begins to cry and the other gets
excited because now he has more crayons!
Focusing on the positive also a nurtures
relationships. One of my clients shared a story about how his commitment
to focusing on the positive has deepened his relationship with his
daughter. He has been working on being less critical, shifting his
negative focus, and seeing his children and his wife more positively.
Recently his daughter who rides horses had entered a
show. It was a big commitment of time and money for him. They traveled 800
miles hauling a horse in a trailer. While he was driving to the show he
wondered, “What will I do if she doesn’t do well?” And he decided no
matter what the outcome, he would focus on the positive.
Well, her horse went lame and so she did indeed do
poorly. And he told me ... instead of being upset he looked for the
positive. In doing so he discovered that his daughter is an excellent
horsewoman. Because her horse went lame her skill became very evident. And
since he was committed to look for the positive, when she left the ring he
was able to praise her and share with her his pride. So a situation that
could have been very hurtful and upsetting if he had chosen a critical
focus, instead became an experience that fed their relationship.
So if you want to deepen your relationships,
increase your productivity, and enhance your well-being, focusing on the
positive is a powerful tool.
Life is what you make of it. You are in charge of
where you place your focus. It is up to each of us to choose whether we
are going to focus on the rose or the thorns!
Top
of Page
QUOTES:
“What you focus upon, you create more of.”
~ John Roger ~
"To affect the quality of the day; that is
the art of life."
~ Henry David Thoreau ~
"What we see depends mainly on what we look
for."
~ John Lubbock ~
Top
of Page
PRACTICALLY SPEAKING:
- Observe your inner conversation and notice what
you are noticing.
- If you find yourself focusing on what’s wrong,
out of place, disturbing, without using the information to move
towards what you want, then change your focus.
- Train your mind to notice the positive, what’s
working, what you enjoy.
- When you notice you’re not having any fun, you’re
stuck in a negative place, discover where your focus is. Then change
it.
- Take charge of where you place your attention and
discover how powerfully you can change the quality of your life.
WONDER QUESTIONS:
- Where do you habitually focus?
- Once you gather negative feedback, what do you do
with it?
- Are you committed to learn from every experience
whether you deem it negative or positive?
- Are you willing to be the predominant creative
force in your life?
- Are you willing to be as powerful as you are?
Top
of Page
COPYRIGHT/CONTACT INFO/REPRINT PERMISSION
c Copyright 2004 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com
Reprint permission granted in part or whole when the following credit appears in full:
Copyright 2004 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design.All rights reserved.
Web site. http://www.living-bydesign.com
|
