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LIVING BY DESIGN NEWSLETTER
by Leslie Karen Sann, MA, LCPC
V3, #5
May 19, 2003
IN THIS ISSUE
More on Forgiveness
Quotes
Practically Speaking
Wonder Questions
MORE
ON FORGIVENESS
People wrote to me after reading last month's
newsletter asking how they can forgive when they feel so stuck in their
position of againstness. This is a great question.
In the last issue we looked at forgiveness as the
antidote to judgment. We saw how our judgments shut us down to input and
learning and don't allow the openness necessary for learning to occur.
First, we must be willing to forgive, remembering
that willingness brings the ability.
We must also realize that forgiveness isn't about
letting the other person off the hook--it is about setting ourselves free.
The saying, "resentment is a poison you drink, hoping the other
person will die," sums the situation up perfectly.
When we judge, we are against--we separate from, we
hold back our participation. Judging means we are withholding our loving
kindness and compassion.
When we forgive we move into the action of
giving--we become FOR the action of GIVING. Forgiveness allow us to
embrace ourselves with acceptance.
Acceptance is the key. Accepting what is. Not only
what has occurred--the situation, the person, the experience that we have
become upset about--but also our upset, any thoughts, judgments, feelings
that have been triggered.
We choose to accept it all.
It is impossible to bypass what is, to get what we
want. The door to ease and flow, peace and love, is this present moment,
as it is, scripted by something bigger than ourselves.
With the clear commitment to forgive and the
willingness to open to the gifts forgiveness provides, we can then embrace
what is from the loving of our hearts, and invite the grace of
forgiveness, into our lives.
Forgiveness will thaw the hardness of our
againstness and open us to the energy of Loving, which is the essence of
who we really are.
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QUOTE:
"That moment inside of you where you forgive
what's happening is the moment when you are enlightening
yourself."
~John-Roger~
"The truth is itself and will not be
dictated to by anyone."
~Byron Katie~
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PRACTICALLY SPEAKING:
- Take a moment and ask yourself is there anything,
or anyone, including you that you are judging right now.
- Allow yourself to bring the judgment fully
present, along with the associated feelings, thoughts and body
sensations.
- Breathe a few deep, relaxing, belly breaths and
begin to open your breath up towards whatever feelings and thoughts
you may be having in the moment.
- As you breathe, remind yourself of something, or
someone you love and who consistently opens your heart.
- Let your heart open and fill you with your
loving.
- Now direct this loving energy to the thoughts,
judgments and feelings. You are now FOR the ACTION of giving LOVE to
yourself. You are actively participating in the movement of
forgiveness.
- Open yourself to receive the grace that occurs
through forgiveness.
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WONDER QUESTIONS:
- Who do you want to be running your life, you or
the person you are upset with?
- What might be the gift in the situation you are
judging? What might you be attempting to teach yourself?
- Are you willing to be bigger than your upset,
than the situation, than your judgments, and embrace whatever is
occurring just the way it is?
- Are you willing to let go of arguing with what
is, and take that energy and invest it in something you actually have
influence over?
- Are you willing to be the predominant creative
force in your life?
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COPYRIGHT/CONTACT INFO/REPRINT PERMISSION
c Copyright 2003 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com
Reprint permission granted in part or whole when the following credit appears in full:
Copyright 2003 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design.All rights reserved.
Web site. http://www.living-bydesign.com
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