LIVING BY DESIGN NEWSLETTER
by Leslie Karen Sann, MA, LCPC
April 14, 2003
IN THIS ISSUE
Opens the Heart
OPENS THE HEART
It is springtime, the season of renewal and rebirth.
The harshness of the winter is receding and in its stead is the awakening,
the greening, the softening of the earth. Life is becoming more fluid and
easy as we shed our coats and welcome the gentling of the air, the warming
of the sun.
This same shift from the hardness of the frozen
earth, to the softening of the dirt allowing itself to be planted, can
occur within ourselves. We can open our hearts, hardened by judgments,
through the graceful action of forgiveness.
When we judge, we are positioned in againstness,
holding firm for our opinion, polarizing our thoughts in right/wrong
thinking. In this hardness of thought we become impenetrable to input, no
seeds can be planting, no shifting can occur. There is no other way to
perceive the situation. Nothing can grow.
What triggers our judgment is the interpretation
that we place on an event. Something happened and it was wrong. Either I
did the wrong or someone else did the wrong. Somewhere, somehow our
standards were violated.
When we judge we are no longer at peace. We are
arguing with what is, we have moved into againstness. We become rigid and
We can choose to soften by entering into
forgiveness. We forgive, and let go of judgments, because LIFE IS THE WAY
IT IS, rather than the way I want it to be, or expect it to be, or insist
that it be. And in accepting what is, we can move with it, embrace it,
create from it.
Forgiveness opens us to our essence. New seeds can
be planted and growth and learning can take place.
When we forgive we let go of againstness and move to
acceptance. In doing so we create an inner environment of peace.
We don't learn from anything by judging it. All we
do is reinforce an opinion that is limiting. We open to learning through
We forgive to empower ourselves. If the thought of
someone triggers you in to an upset place then that person has power over
you. You've given them that power. Forgiveness moves us back to our true
Judgment, blame, resentment are actions that
withhold. Forgiveness is an action of giving. We become FOR the action of
GIVING. And what we give is love.
There is a passage in the bible: "Forgive and
thou shalt be forgiven." What does this mean? Let's play with the
passage, using our new definition of forgiveness. "Give love and thou
shalt be given love." Well, how does that happen? When I choose to
give loving, I move myself to the place where loving lives inside of me.
And in that moment, it's instantaneous, I am experiencing loving.
Forgiveness will thaw the hardness of our
againstness and open us to the energy of Loving, which is the essence of
who we really are.
Out beyond wrong doing
and right doing
there is a field,
I'll meet you there."
- Remind yourself that who you really are is a
- Allow yourself to explore the situation which has
triggered the emotional pain and mental disturbance.
- Accept your feelings and the disturbance you are
- Explore any judgments you may have placed against
yourself, another, or the situation. Remember that you are not your
thoughts, feelings or behavior.
- Move into the action of forgiveness: "I
forgive myself for judging myself as . . . I forgive myself for
judging as . . . ;
- Be thorough in your forgiving. Evidence that you
are complete is an upward shift in energy. Use your intuition as
- When the release is complete, forgive yourself
for forgetting you are divine and then ask yourself, "What can I
appreciate about this? What gift of learning have I received? What am
I grateful for?"
- Conclude with the questions: "Now what? What
next?" and move yourself into self care actions of support and
- Where am I in againstness, (judging, holding a
- How is this affecting the quality of my life?
- Am I willing to forGIVE, to give myself loving?
- Am I willing to be free of the drama of my
- Am I willing to be the predominant creative force
in my life?
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c Copyright 2003 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
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