LIVING BY DESIGN NEWSLETTER
by Leslie Karen Sann, MA, LCPC
V2, #9

October 15, 2002

IN THIS ISSUE

Expanding Your Comfort Zone

Quotes

Practically Speaking

Wonder Questions

Readers Share Their Wins

EXPANDING YOUR COMFORT ZONE

Sometimes what gets in the way of positive change are the habits we have developed in life. This is commonly called the COMFORT ZONE. Imagine the comfort zone as a circle: inside that circle are those things we are comfortable doing; outside is everything else. The wall of the circle becomes a wall of limitation when we let it get in the way of taking those actions necessary to produce the changes in our life and have the experiences we want, that are currently outside the comfort zone.

Whenever we do something new, something different, we push against the parameters of our comfort zone. We step outside of what is familiar into the unknown. This may seem scary and many of us run back to that which is familiar rather than explore new territory. Yet if we do the new thing often enough we overcome our fear and expand the boundaries of our comfort zone.

Growth is a process of stepping into the unknown, exploring it, and expanding. The once unfamiliar terrain is now familiar and has become part of our now larger comfort zone. Each time we do that, we become confident that we can make friends with the unknown. That's where the juice in life is. The fun is in discovery, it's not just repeating the same thing over and over again, it's stepping out into the unknown and asking "Now what can I learn?"

When you get stuck, notice your thoughts. You're probably telling yourself that the unknown is not safe, and that something you won't like is going to happen if you step into it. Since it hasn't happened yet, why not win in your own fantasy? Remind yourself your reasons for taking the risk to expand. What there is for you to gain? How will the experience grow you? What will you learn?

Remember, with the exception of actual threats to your physical well-being, fear is nothing more than a statement that you are outside of your comfort zone and that it is wise to pay attention. So take a deep breath, notice your surroundings, become aware of your feelings, your sensations, and take a step forward.

Top of Page

QUOTES:

"Fear is excitement without the breath." 
  ~ Fritz Pearls ~

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." 
  ~ Helen Keller ~

Top of Page

PRACTICALLY SPEAKING:

• Ask yourself if there is something you've been afraid to attempt, out of fear of the unknown?
• What is one little thing you can do to step through the fear and move outside your comfort zone?
• You don't have to jump out of a plane to prove anything. Perhaps a small step like changing the color of your hair, or telling your best friend something you have kept hidden, or sending a poem you wrote to a local paper, or . . .
• If you get nervous, anxious, worried, angry, whatever, just feel the feelings, breathe and stay outside your comfort zone until it becomes familiar.
• Continue to take those actions that will move you to accomplish those things you choose.
• Keep your focus on your goal, your dream, the juicy aliveness that comes when you are taking action on your own behalf.
• W

Top of Page

WONDER QUESTIONS:

• What do you need to risk to make a change?
• What are the actions you can take to create your desired outcome?
• What can you focus on to support your courage in taking the risk of moving past your zone of comfort?
• Are you willing to be the predominant creative force in your life?

Top of Page

READERS SHARE THEIR WINS

CELEBRATING WINS 
http://www.living-bydesign.com/V2_8.htm

--I loved your opening piece about "Celebrating Wins." Sometimes I get so focused on my "big" goals that I forget about, overlook the hugeness of the tiny wins and baby steps I'm taking in my life. Thanks for the reminder. So kind.  I think of your writing as spiritual simplicity. - G.N.

--Hi, Leslie. I copied off the Celebrating Wins info. and made a handout for clients. It was excellent information. I am always searching for the "best" or most succinct way to teach clients to focus on the positive. I've heard the expression,"If you focus on how far you've come, you feel abundant. If you focus on how far you have to go, you feel lack." Your message seems to sink in for me a bit more. Good job! - S.L.

--Thank you for this newsletter! It was very, very hard at work last month. We are going through many changes, including layoffs. I had a number of negative encounters with staff and administrators. There were many days where I felt small, voiceless and useless. I felt overwhelmed and discouraged. I was beginning to have fantasies about running away, traveling the world, joining the Peace Corps.  Keeping a success journal has been helping me to focus on the present, on the good in my life, and on what is important to me. It has been helping me to restore balance in my relationship between work and the larger world.  I may have had a rotten day at work, but it was a beautiful day and there were accomplishments to cherish.  Thank you, Leslie, for that very important and practical tool! - N.M.

Top of Page

COPYRIGHT/CONTACT INFO/REPRINT PERMISSION

c Copyright 2002 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com

Reprint permission granted in part or whole when the following credit appears in full:

Copyright 2002 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design.All rights reserved. 
Web site. http://www.living-bydesign.com