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LIVING BY DESIGN NEWSLETTER
by Leslie Karen Sann, MA, LCPC
V2, #9
October 15, 2002
IN THIS ISSUE
Expanding Your
Comfort Zone
Quotes
Practically Speaking
Wonder Questions
Readers Share
Their Wins
EXPANDING
YOUR COMFORT ZONE
Sometimes what gets in the way of positive change
are the habits we have developed in life. This is commonly called the
COMFORT ZONE. Imagine the comfort zone as a circle: inside that circle are
those things we are comfortable doing; outside is everything else. The
wall of the circle becomes a wall of limitation when we let it get in the
way of taking those actions necessary to produce the changes in our life
and have the experiences we want, that are currently outside the comfort
zone.
Whenever we do something new, something different,
we push against the parameters of our comfort zone. We step outside of
what is familiar into the unknown. This may seem scary and many of us run
back to that which is familiar rather than explore new territory. Yet if
we do the new thing often enough we overcome our fear and expand the
boundaries of our comfort zone.
Growth is a process of stepping into the unknown,
exploring it, and expanding. The once unfamiliar terrain is now familiar
and has become part of our now larger comfort zone. Each time we do that,
we become confident that we can make friends with the unknown. That's
where the juice in life is. The fun is in discovery, it's not just
repeating the same thing over and over again, it's stepping out into the
unknown and asking "Now what can I learn?"
When you get stuck, notice your thoughts. You're
probably telling yourself that the unknown is not safe, and that something
you won't like is going to happen if you step into it. Since it hasn't
happened yet, why not win in your own fantasy? Remind yourself your
reasons for taking the risk to expand. What there is for you to gain? How
will the experience grow you? What will you learn?
Remember, with the exception of actual threats to
your physical well-being, fear is nothing more than a statement that you
are outside of your comfort zone and that it is wise to pay attention. So
take a deep breath, notice your surroundings, become aware of your
feelings, your sensations, and take a step forward.
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QUOTES:
"Fear is excitement without the
breath."
~ Fritz Pearls ~
"Life is either a daring adventure or
nothing."
~ Helen Keller ~
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PRACTICALLY SPEAKING:
- Ask yourself if there is something you've been
afraid to attempt, out of fear of the unknown?
- What is one little thing you can do to step
through the fear and move outside your comfort zone?
- You don't have to jump out of a plane to prove
anything. Perhaps a small step like changing the color of your hair,
or telling your best friend something you have kept hidden, or sending
a poem you wrote to a local paper, or . . .
- If you get nervous, anxious, worried, angry,
whatever, just feel the feelings, breathe and stay outside your
comfort zone until it becomes familiar.
- Continue to take those actions that will move you
to accomplish those things you choose.
- Keep your focus on your goal, your dream, the
juicy aliveness that comes when you are taking action on your own
behalf.
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WONDER QUESTIONS:
- What do you need to
risk to make a change?
- What are the actions
you can take to create your desired outcome?
- What can you focus on to support your courage in
taking the risk of moving past your zone of comfort?
- Are you willing to be the predominant creative
force in your life?
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READERS
SHARE THEIR WINS
CELEBRATING WINS
http://www.living-bydesign.com/V2_8.htm
--I loved your opening piece about "Celebrating
Wins." Sometimes I get so focused on my "big" goals that I
forget about, overlook the hugeness of the tiny wins and baby steps I'm
taking in my life. Thanks for the reminder. So kind. I
think of your writing as spiritual simplicity. - G.N.
--Hi, Leslie. I copied off the Celebrating Wins
info. and made a handout for clients. It was excellent information. I am
always searching for the "best" or most succinct way to teach
clients to focus on the positive. I've heard the expression,"If you
focus on how far you've come, you feel abundant. If you focus on how far
you have to go, you feel lack." Your message seems to sink in for me
a bit more. Good job! - S.L.
--Thank you for this newsletter! It was very, very
hard at work last month. We are going through many changes, including
layoffs. I had a number of negative encounters with staff and
administrators. There were many days where I felt small, voiceless and
useless. I felt overwhelmed and discouraged. I was beginning to have
fantasies about running away, traveling the world, joining the Peace
Corps. Keeping a success journal has been
helping me to focus on the present, on the good in my life, and on what is
important to me. It has been helping me to restore balance in my
relationship between work and the larger world. I may have had a
rotten day at work, but it was a beautiful day and there were
accomplishments to cherish. Thank you, Leslie, for that very
important and practical tool! - N.M.
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COPYRIGHT/CONTACT INFO/REPRINT PERMISSION
c Copyright 2002 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com
Reprint permission granted in part or whole when the following credit appears in full:
Copyright 2002 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design.All rights reserved.
Web site. http://www.living-bydesign.com
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