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LIVING BY DESIGN NEWSLETTER
by Leslie Karen Sann, MA, LCPC
V2, #8
September 13, 2002
IN THIS ISSUE
Celebrating
Wins
Quotes
Practically Speaking
Wonder Questions
Readers Share
Their Wins
CELEBRATING
WINS
Most of us go through life seeing the glass as half
empty rather than half full. If I asked you to list your problems, it
would probably be easy for you. If I asked you to list all the things that
were good, that were working, your list would probably be much shorter and
more difficult to produce. It's not that there aren't many good things in
our lives. It's that we tend to focus on the negative, on the cup being
half empty, rather than half full.
Right now, pause, look around and notice. Notice
your noticing. Do you tend to look for what is out of place, incomplete,
needing attention? Or are you aware of what is working, what is in your
life you are grateful for, what is beautiful? Where is your habitual
focus?
I remember sharing this with a coaching group I was
working with. The next week a woman reported that after our class she was
amazed to notice that the tulips were in bloom and that there were spring
flowers everywhere. Until I had suggested that there was more going on in
every moment than problems, she hadn't noticed spring had arrived. She had
been absorbed in her worries and concerns.
One way to break this habit is to start writing
things down that are positive in your life. As you get into the habit of
acknowledging yourself for things well done, you'll discover that many
things will shift for you. Instead of thinking that your life is full of
difficulties, you'll begin to notice your life is also full of
"wins."
But what is a win? A win is a success that you have
achieved. And you have to be careful. The key here is the definition of
success. YOU need to decide what success, a win, is to YOU. One day it may
be closing a deal. Another it may be managing heavy traffic safely and
calmly. Or it may be saying no when you mean no. Or walking an extra lap
around the track. On some days, getting out of bed could be a win,
avoiding an argument, going to bed early. A win is a success based on YOUR
definition of success rather than evaluated by an external standard.
Some only consider obvious things such as stopping
smoking, releasing weight, getting a promotion, to be successes. But any
major success is created by small successes achieved over time. For
example, releasing weight is made up of many wins along the way, as is
being smoke free, as is doing a job that is rewarded by a promotion. It's
important to celebrate all the steps, all those moments of achievement
that lead to the 'big' one. It is the little things that make a
difference.
When we cultivate the habit of acknowledging wins,
we begin to notice solutions rather than problems. Long standing problems
will tend to clear up as you train yourself in this way over time. We very
often get caught in ruts and we don't see alternatives, but as you begin
to focus on what is right, what is working, possibilities open up that
were unseen to you before.
Action will get easier and easier because you will
know that there is something good to be discovered because you are
committed to seeing the glass half full, looking for the good, harvesting
the blessings. In general you will accomplish more, because you will find
yourself motivated by the discovery of the goodness, what is working, the
gift.
As you cultivate the habit of acknowledging wins,
you'll find learning and skill building is greatly enhanced as action is
now associated with a win, no matter what the result. You'll find yourself
feeling more positive, about yourself and about your life. You'll find
yourself enjoying life much more.
Sound good? I encourage you to write down your wins.
The positive changes of behavior, of thought, of action. Share your wins
with others. Listen for wins in the people around you. Celebrate winning!
As you do that, it will help you reinforce your desire to move forward in
freedom and you will discover that life is a good place to be.
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QUOTES:
"Life is made up of small pleasures.
Happiness is made up of those tiny successes. The big ones come too
infrequently. And if you don't collect all these tiny successes the big
ones don't really mean anything."
~Norman Lear~
"Those who cannot see the littleness of
great things in themselves are apt to overlook the greatness of little
things in others."
~Okakuro Kakuzo~ The Book of Tea
"Rather than looking to find what has been
left undone, look to see what has been accomplished."
~Judy Wardell ~
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PRACTICALLY SPEAKING:
- Keep a journal, bedside, and record wins on a
daily basis. Don't close the book until you've documented at least
five.
- Practice noticing the little things that make a
big difference.
- Get into the habit of giving yourself an "atta-girl"
or "atta-boy" when you notice a win. An invisible pat on the
back goes a long way.
- Become aware of the little things that are wins
in others.
- Verbally acknowledge and appreciate those wins as
well.
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WONDER QUESTIONS:
- Where am I stuck in seeing only problems in
my life?
- How can I shift in this area and begin to notice
wins, goodness, the little things that make a difference?
- When am I noticing the glass half empty? How can
I shift and begin to notice the fullness?
- What can I become aware of right now that is a
win for me?
- Am I willing to be the predominant creative force
in my life?
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READERS
SHARE THEIR WINS
WHERE YOU LEAD, YOU WILL FOLLOW http://www.living-bydesign.com/V2_6.htm
~I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for
your newsletter. It's just a little gift I get each time. I especially
liked the following: 1) reminding me of the idea of what feeds me and
honoring the essence of who I am, 2) The idea of thinking of things step
by step to improve it one point at a time, 3) The idea of me being the
one, the creative force. I have been applying these to my life and have
noticed a big difference, especially realizing I am a creative force.
Thank you. G.G.
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COPYRIGHT/CONTACT INFO/REPRINT PERMISSION
c Copyright 2002 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com
Reprint permission granted in part or whole when the following credit appears in full:
Copyright 2002 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design.All rights reserved.
Web site. http://www.living-bydesign.com
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