LIVING BY DESIGN NEWSLETTER
by Leslie Karen Sann, MA, LCPC
V2, #2

February 15, 2002

IN THIS ISSUE

What Do You Want?

Quotes

Practically Speaking

Wonder Questions

Coaching Corner

Write to Me

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Most people don't think of their life as a creation. Yet YOU can be a predominant creative force and create a life of your own design.

In fact, we can and DO create all the time. Creativity is a human given. The issue is: are we creating what we want? Look at your life. What have you created? Is it the way you want it to be? If it is not, then you can change it. But first you must have a vision of the result you are seeking.

The most POWERFUL question you can ask yourself is, "What do I want?" Asking this question helps focus your attention on the outcome you desire. (Another way to ask the question is, "What result do I want to create?")

If you want to create deliberately, it is essential to choose what you want, not what you don't want. Some people tend to focus on and complain about what they don't want. The problem here is that what we focus on, we create. When we focus on what we don't want, we end up experiencing more of that.

Try this. Tell yourself not to look at the floor. What happens? Part of you wants to look at the floor. Now tell yourself to look at the ceiling. Your focus is easily guided to look up.

So, if you don't want your car breaking down continually, what you probably want is a car that consistently runs well. If you don't want a boring job, you probably want a job that excites and motivates you.

It is essential to tell yourself the truth about what you want. Focus on the outcome you desire. Point yourself in the direction you want to go.

What Do You REALLY Want?

If you want to be successful in manifesting your goals, it is important that you get in touch with the ESSENCE of the goal. What is the underlying drive for your goal? What experience are you looking for? What about the outcome, experience, result, is attractive to you?

When I ask clients, "What do you want?" they often respond with something like, a promotion, a new car, a vacation, more money. But there is usually a desire deeper than these things.

We may want a new car, but is it the thing itself, or what it represents to us? Is it the way we'll feel when we drive the car, the ease of getting around, the experience of luxury, or something else that really motivates us?

Because we are often unaware of these hidden drivers, we may be dissatisfied when we finally achieve a goal. Have you ever had the experience of working hard to attain something, only to feel let down once you finally got it? Often it is not just the achievement itself we're after, but the experience we're hoping it will provide. If we're not clear about the experience we're looking for then the result will be empty of meaning and satisfaction.

Form Versus Essence

Often knowing the experience we want, the ESSENCE of the goal, will open up other options. For example, for years I have been wanting to build a small cottage on our property to use as my home office. I have a very clear image of this cottage, complete with fireplace, porch and large windows overlooking our flower gardens. I have discussed this with my husband. We've talked about size, design, logistics. I'm aware that this vision is something that is still in the future, as I'm not yet in alignment with doing everything I need to do in order to bring this dream into reality.

In recently revisiting this goal, I asked myself the question: "What EXPERIENCE am I looking for?" The answer was, to get out of the house, have a space of my own, to be close to the garden when I work, and freedom from the confines of my home office.

Well, duh! I can get a lap top and not be confined to my work station at home. I can take it outside in the good weather and work under the trees. I can sit by the flower gardens and work. I can have most of what the cottage was going to provide for a fraction of the cost! That, plus my cordless headset phone and I'm golden.

Guess what?  I'm in the process of shopping for a lap top.

Now, I'm not giving up on my cottage. I still have that as a "sometime maybe" goal. In the meantime I can create much of the experience I was looking for by shifting from the symbol, the form of the cottage, and going for the ESSENCE of the experience I am wanting.

Practice Knowing What You Want

We do not ask ourselves what we really want often enough. PRACTICE asking yourself this question in many types of situations. Don't save it only for those times of great importance. If you are in the habit of working with this question, you will develop an instinct for knowing what you want.

Begin Your Own Life Creation

Begin creating a life of your own design by asking yourself, "What do I want?" often and regularly.

Happy Creating,

Leslie

QUOTES:

"If you don't know where you are going 
any road will do 
and you probably won't get there."
    ~ George Bernard Shaw ~

PRACTICALLY SPEAKING:

Ask yourself often, "What do I want?", no matter what the circumstances.

• Remember to focus on the outcome you desire.
• Begin to ask yourself, "If I ruled the world, what would my life look like?" Include the following in your wonderings:
  • health 
  • finances 
  • relationships 
  • home environment 
  • work 
  • expression 
  • travel/adventure/fun/recreation 
  • spiritual 
  • personal development
• Find a clean journal, use a legal pad, or make a file on your computer and begin to write down exactly what you DO want.
• Take your time. Allow this to evolve as you gently and with care place your intention and attention on knowing what you want.

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WONDER QUESTIONS:

• Am I willing to be the predominant creative force in my life?
• What do I really want?
• What experience am I looking for?
• How could I get it?

COACHING CORNER

Got Questions? Get Your Answers Here.

I am open to you for questions on how to use the tools shared in these newsletters. Submit your questions to: leslie@living-bydesign.com

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WRITE TO ME!

I am interested in your successes! Write to me and share wins you have experienced using any of the techniques I have shared.

Perhaps you have a story about how gratitude transformed a challenge into a blessing, or how the simple act of acceptance has brought peace more present in your life.

Tell me which strategies have worked and what occurred. Send your story or any questions you may have to me at:

leslie@living-bydesign.com

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COPYRIGHT/CONTACT INFO/REPRINT PERMISSION

c Copyright 2002 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com

Reprint permission granted in part or whole when the following credit appears in full:

Copyright 2002 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design.All rights reserved. 
Web site. http://www.living-bydesign.com