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LIVING BY DESIGN NEWSLETTER
by Leslie Karen Sann, MA, LCPC
V1, #3
November 12, 2001
IN THIS ISSUE
The Power of Acceptance
Quotes
Practically Speaking
Wonder Questions
THE POWER OF ACCEPTANCE
Despite the current uncertainty, we
each have the power to promote peace in our individual lives. The more
each of us chooses a life grounded in peace, the more peace there will be
on the planet.
Well, how can we do that? The world is a bit
discombobulated right now (well, a new and different kind of craziness
anyway.)
The key is simple, although not necessarily easy. It
is a practical process with a powerful result - ACCEPTANCE.
Peace is born from acceptance and acceptance is the
process of acknowledging that what is, is.
Imagine accepting your life just the way it
is--without argument, opposition, challenge, resistance, blame or
judgment. It means accepting your weight is 10 pounds more that you would
like. Accepting your spouse forgot your birthday. Accepting that your
child received a D in English. Accepting that the world is changing.
The challenge with the process of acceptance is
confusing it with approval, compliance or powerlessness. By accepting
something (a person, situation or circumstance), we are not saying it is
good--nor are we saying it is desirable, preferable, the way we want it or
that it fulfills our personal choices in any way, shape or form. We are
just acknowledging that IT IS, it exists.
MOST things are outside our control. This includes
other people, (whether they like us or not), their feelings, and their
actions. Even our own thoughts and feelings are areas we cannot totally
control.
If we cannot control it, then we have two choices;
1) to accept it the way it is, or
2) to resist it.
It's easy to get into drama and upset over things we
have no influence upon. We gain a tremendous amount of power when we stop
wasting our energy in areas where we have no control.
By accepting that there are some things we cannot change because we have
no control over them, we can then focus our attention on the areas we DO
have influence.
When we oppose what is, we suffer. We can oppose gravity, yet if we drop
an object, it falls to the ground anyway. We can proclaim all we want that
gravity shouldn't be, yet it still exists.
Acceptance is part of the process of change. It is
foolish to deny that I am sitting in a chair if that is what I am doing.
It is essential to acknowledge that I am sitting in a chair if my next
desired state is to be standing. I must work with sitting in order to
stand. Acceptance is the beginning of any change process. Complete
acceptance of a situtation exactly as it is, creates an openness to
change.
This is true for anything within our sphere
influence. I must accept the truth of what presently exists, in order to
create a different outcome. I must accept the fact that I have gained
weight this year, or that my income has dropped, if I am to take
course-corrective actions that will produce preferred results.
Change requires commitment. It's easy to want things
to be different from what they are. Yet, if we are not committed to doing
what it takes to create a different outcome, then accepting how things are
is still the best choice. Acceptance creates peace with the situation,
with ourselves, and with our choices.
PRACTICE acceptance. A radical move, yes, but
ultimately very powerful. Discover for yourself how life-changing the
simple action of acceptance can be.
Acceptance IS the process of peace.
Many Blessings,
Leslie
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QUOTES
"Peace is the cessation of againstness."
~ John-Roger ~
"The secret of happiness is knowing that there are some things you can control and
some things you cannot."
~ Epictetus ~
"Give us the grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, the
courage to change the things we can, and
the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other."
~ Reinhold Niebuhr ~
PRACTICALLY SPEAKING
Where are you not at peace? Notice something you are resisting.
PAUSE and take a moment to BREATHE, deeply. All the way to your belly.
Inhale, slooooowly.
Exhale, slooooowly.
Again.
Breath deeply 5-6 times.
Allow feelings and thoughts to just be what they are. Accept what is.
Ask yourself:
Do I CHOOSE to continue to fight?
or
Do I CHOOSE to accept, to be at peace?
Let us say you choose to accept (it is assumed you already know how to struggle).
CHOOSING acceptance:
"I ACCEPT that is the way it is."
Remember, acceptance does NOT mean you necessarily like it.
You can even accept that you do not like it.
"I accept that I have gained 10 pounds and I accept that I am angry and sad about that."
"I have to get to the airport two hours early. I accept that I am annoyed at the
inconvenience and grateful for the extra security."
Now ask yourself:
"Can I do anything about this?"
If NO, then release the struggle. Just let it go and breathe into acceptance. (Notice how
cooperation becomes easier when you
accept.)
If YES, then the question becomes:
"What do I want?"
Let your TRUTH reveal itself.
The next point is key. Ask:
"Am I committed to doing what it takes to create this outcome?"
If NO, guess what? You can accept that too.
"I'd like to be 10 pounds lighter and I accept I am not going to do anything about
it right now."
If YES . . . well, the process of creative change is something that will be addressed
in future newsletters. For now . . . imagine yourself enjoying the successful outcome
you desire!
SUGGESTIONS:
Practice BREATHING every time you move into resistance to bring yourself back into
acceptance.
Adopt the following point of view:
"The experience I am having is the one I am suppose to be having."
Gay and Kathleen Hendricks, Conscious Loving
Remember, acceptance is not resignation, acceptance is KEY to the process of PEACE
and the initial action towards successful
change.
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WONDER QUESTIONS:
What am I arguing with? Where am I not at peace?
How much energy am I spending resisting what is?
What could I be doing with that energy?
What do I really want?
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COPYRIGHT/CONTACT INFO/REPRINT PERMISSION
c Copyright 2001 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com
Reprint permission granted in part or whole when the following credit appears in full:
Copyright 2001 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design.All rights reserved.
Web site. http://www.living-bydesign.com
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