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"Failure is a judgment. This is very
simple.
If there is no judgment, there is no failure."
~ John Morton ~
Designed
for Failure by Leslie Karen Sann
Human beings are designed to fail each other.
Perfection is impossible on this level. No matter how we attempt to manage
our lives, something inevitable happens.
Imagine a mother tending to her two children. She is
making the older child who is hungry a snack and suddenly the smaller
child falls and is now crying. Mom runs to pick up the baby and the older
child is left to deal with not getting the food at that moment. The mom,
in a sense, has failed her. You and I know she has not, 'Something
Happened' and she is now dealing with a more immediate issue. Yet the
hungry one is experiencing a failure in that moment.
Donald Winnicott's,"Good Enough" theory
beautifully demonstrates the gift of failure. The failure supports the
child in reaching to the next level of development. The child in the above
example has an opportunity to learn to soothe itself in this moment of
loss. To have the ability to find a place of peace in the midst of chaos
is an essential developmental task for all humans.
Something will Happen. Life is like that. Mastery in
life is NOT in attempting to manage things so something doesn't happen, an
impossible task. Mastery is about becoming competent in dealing with life
on life's terms When something happens -- what do you do?
We can meet challenges kicking and screaming -- or
we can choose to learn with an open heart and mind, asking the question,
"How is this a "For Me" experience?"
Recently "Something Happened" in the life
of a client that got in the way of her ability to work with me at a level
of frequency she had been enjoying. She was very upset as she found our
sessions very helpful. I asked her to wonder what the gift might be. It
became apparent to her that perhaps it was feedback that she had grown to
a place of readiness to let go of the training wheels.
At some point we do take the training wheels off the
bike. Initially the experience is wobbly and uncertain. But in a very
brief amount of time the learning is apparent and we are riding down the
street without the extra support.
When something happens, I encourage you to assume
you have been preparing to meet the challenge and are now capable of
dealing with the situation in which you find yourself. Instead of arguing
with what is occurring, you could choose to find your inner capacity to
deal with it and to succeed.
We are designed to fail, ourselves and each other.
If this is how it is supposed to be, how might you relate differently to
your life when "Something Happens"? Are you willing to trust
that you have all the resources you need to meet the challenge with a
capacity to succeed and win?
I know you do.
QUICK LINKS:
COPYRIGHT/CONTACT INFO/REPRINT PERMISSION
Copyright 2009 by Leslie Karen Sann, Living by Design
Visit this link for contact information:
leslie@living-bydesign.com
Reprint permission granted in part or whole when the following credit appears in full:
Copyright 2009 by Leslie Karen Sann,
Living by Design. All rights reserved.
Web site. http://www.living-bydesign.com
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