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“Sometimes your joy is the source of your
smile,
but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh ~
CLAIMING
JOY by Leslie Karen Sann, MA, LCPC
Have you ever wanted to feel better, happier, more
joyful but were at a loss as to where to find your joy? Most folks look
outside themselves thinking something Out There will make them happy. Some
believe that, Out There has to look Just So and if it doesn't, well ...
they are unhappy.
I have found that, Out There is hardly ever, if
ever, Just So. If I am to base my joy on what is occuring in my outer
world, I'm doomed for unhappiness.
What I have discovered is that joy is not the
absence of challenges, it is a process of reframing what is in front of us
as an opportunity to lift, to grow, to expand. It's about recognizing your
resilience to meet every situation and to come out the other side better
for the experience. Claiming JOY is an awareness of the presence of who
you really are--in spite of what you may be experiencing.
How we feel about life depends on where we place our
attention. That is, what we focus on. Have you ever noticed that every
time you are given a rose it is covered with thorns. Do you say, "Why
are you giving me this stick with thorns on it?" Of course not. You
admire the beauty of the rose. Even if you prick yourself it never seems
to hurt for you are involved in appreciating the rose and the person who
gave it to you.
The only thing that has to be different in life for
you to enjoy it is to be in charge of where you put your focus. Start
seeing that which is positive right now. As you find it you will naturally
feel more joyful.
When you focus on joy you are stimulating your brain
with positive energy. The brain responds by producing endorphins, which
are neurotransmitters, sometimes known as the happy drug. No pill needed.
Just a conscious commitment to choose your focus and claim joy.
You don't even have to be having an experience to
stimulate these happy hormones. You can sit down right now and make a list
of things, people, experiences that bring you joy. Pause after five or ten
minutes and notice how you feel. I can almost guarantee you will feel
better than when you started.
Joy promotes joy which produces more joy. Create a
positive addiction to feeling good and you will become a happy seeking
person, looking for the next thing, experience, person, situation to feel
good about. Get those happy juices flowing by focusing on what feels good
to you. Remember to savor the good feelings you are generating.
Just for Fun Exercise:
Make a list of the things you enjoy doing. Then commit to doing something
each day for the next thirty days that brings you joy, gives you pleasure.
For even more fun, share this exercise with a friend. Send a Joy Report
daily and share the experience you had that felt so very good.
Bonus Exercise:
LAUGH. Laugh, laugh, laugh. Have fun. Watch a funny movie, a comedy
routine, do something silly, have a water balloon fight, whatever it takes
for you to tickle your funny bone. Laughter is a great way to feel better,
no matter what!
For EVEN MORE Fun:- Do
the Jessica Dance
A Reader Shares a WIN:
After our session I thought a great deal about what
occurred and your response. Thank you for giving me a safe place to
express myself. Your recommendation of writing down or visualizing what a
successful outcome would look like brought me to a different understanding
of my situation.
I am in charge of my thoughts and my life. All of
the seminars, classes and one on one conversations we had over 20 years
ago came rushing back to me and I see I have options, choices and actions
to take.
Recently life gave me a big bowl of lemons. I broke
the bone that connects my right ankle to the little toe. A cast was put on
and I was told to be off my feet for 6-8 weeks. I had a 10 minute pity
party and then started making lemonade.
I am using this time off from work to create the
life I want. I want to schedule and plan my own life, instead of working
for someone else. I am currently writing a business plan for a new
restaurant concept and developing the menu.
I have the time, energy and desire. As you wisely
told me once, "inch by inch it's a cinch." I'm now taking action
to create what I really want. Thank you, Frank Nehmen.
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